There’s a lot you can learn from your dog. Unconditional love, live in the moment, patience. These are more apparent in a dog that has been well-trained and is calm. An anxious dog is a problematic dog. One thing I’ve learned from raising and training four Labs, is that if you are consistent and adhere to a routine, they’re less anxious. 

Tobey, my current Lab, is far and away my most chill, partly due to temperament, partly to environment. And, boy, does he love his routine. Deviate from it, and I hear about it. Like many dogs he has an amazing internal clock, especially for meals. Dinner at 4:00, cocktails and snacks to follow (my cocktail, his snacks) and his evening walk. He’s on me for each step, reminding me if I’m late or forget. If you know what’s coming next, you’re less anxious, not on edge about the future. It’s known and expected. And I’ve found I like routine as well. More so as I get older. Cycle of life, I guess. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate something new and different, but on a day-to-day basis having a schedule that’s predictable is reassuring. I think it’s also partly a control issue. Well, its not an issue for me, because I like control. Ordering your life is very functional and for most of us, very necessary. Where it deviates into pathology is when it’s taken to an extreme. For me, having guideposts in my day, establishing a routine, is sufficient. The details within can vary; I can be spontaneous.

During lockdown our lives were disrupted. Our pre-COVID routine disappeared. People stayed home and had to figure out how to conduct their day without the usual rhythm of work and friends. Some stayed in their pajamas, hung out, went with the flow. Others, such as myself, felt the need to quickly establish a new routine—something predictable and ordered. Even though at the beginning we weren’t going anywhere, I insisted that by 4 p.m. you had to have had a shower and put on clean clothes. It was an effort to maintain civil behavior. I had a fear of life descending into the Lord of the Flies. That time was anxiety-provoking as it was and the loss of my previous routine made it more so. 

There’s a danger in order as well. It’s easy to fall into the trap of predictability. You set up a routine and then disengage. You then don’t have to think about it, about your life. Yes, it’s well-ordered and perhaps comfortable, but boring and insular. And, if you’re not careful, it becomes unsociable. You find yourself withdrawing from family, friends and life because they could disrupt your comfortable and known routine. I’m not a ‘wild and crazy guy’ in the classic Dan Akroyd and Steve Martin style from “Saturday Night Live,” but I do like doing new things, going new places. As I said earlier, less so now at this point. And while I think I’ve crafted a routine that’s both comfortable and reasonable, I find myself not wanting to disrupt it, and approaching new things—new travel—with less enthusiasm and with more angst. It’s a strange feeling and I don’t like it. I’m finding I have to exert conscious effort to leave my cocoon. I’m happy to have Tobey run my day, to execute the routine I taught him and which seems to serve him very well—although I’m jealous that he gets to sleep most of the day, I’m not ready to step back from life. 

So, as with many things, I’ll continue to try to find a balance, to keep a structure that’s both reassuring and productive. I’m not ready to hang it up just yet. 

Dr. Blecher is an attending surgeon at Wills Eye Hospital.